Yellow Sash Styling

Tried to take a pre-test selfie. Didn't turn out. You get the Panda instead.

I am now a yellow sash.

But First. Let's go back to Tuesday when my kicks were so high the Sifu said I shouldn't give up dance. They were so high the sifu abandoned the practice pad and said he trusted me not to kick him in the nose and closed the distance between his face and my foot.

So I was pretty pleased with myself. My kicks were going to be so high for the test.

And Friday came around and put on my Kung Fu uniform, which I never wear. See the pants are supposed to be considerably baggy to allow optimal movement. Well I went down a size because I thought they would be cuter a little more form fitting.

Donning the white sash...I haven't worn it since they gave it to me in December. And it was so cute to wear! (Why haven't I been wearing it?) I tied a half bow and let the tails hang long. I wasn't really used to the feeling of extra layers cinching in my transverse abs. (I kept having phantom seat belt syndrome the whole ride to the school.)

Blue scarf. Red Shoes. And I even did my hair like Harry Styles with a total bling hairband.

Bringing Fashion to Kung Fu.

Ok, well I had to loose the scarf and the red flats for the test. But I did roll up the sleeves cheerleader style. Fashion Forward Always.

It was also like 80 degrees that day. My already to snug Fu pants were clinging to my legs. And we had to do front stretch kicks first. And that is how I lost 25% of range of motion in the first exercise.

Then we paired up for form applications. I paired with RB, who I have never fought before. And in the first exercise nearly broke his wrist. Well I made it through form apps with with only minor bruises, and then the form.

I remembered it. Thank goodness but somehow started in the center and finished off into the far left corner...(pretty sure we supposed to end where we start.)

The visting master said my only issue were my stances being way too big. But hey this is Kung Fu, I'm working in my full Kinesphere here.

I got my yellow sash. I looked amazing while doing it. That is all that matters.

Back to Kung Fu

I took a two week hiatus from Kung Fu.

I dragged myself back in last night. My heart wanted to be at Kung Fu, but not really my brain.

So we started with line basics, stances. Oh, and guess what? We test again next week. They said if I "pass," (pshhh, why would they not pass me?) I would be advancing to yellow sash. How cute! I love yellow :)

I asked S, "So if I rank up every six months, I'll be a black sash in what, like... three years."

I try to keep my outfits interesting at Kung Fu. Harem and high tops :)

Apparently not so. He gave me five to six years out if I really dedicate myself. Apparently it gets harder every rank advancement. I'm hoping/planning on getting that black sash. It's going to be the first line on my resume underneath my name..."Master of Kung Fu," (Awesome conversation starter in job interviews :)

We partnered up for form applications and I decided to pair up with SG, who has always been very friendly and awesome at Kung Fu. We are actually the only white sashes in the school, but he already trains in Tae Kwon Do, and is prepping for officers school.

 When the Sifu came over to check up on our progress, SG jokingly said "I'm scared of her. I blink, and her fist is at my face." Then someone called out, "Yeah Chloe, don't beat up our marines we need those guys for front lines." They were all hyping it up though. I wasn't really even trying to beat anyone up tonight.

Mile Run

I had this friend at University. She didn't do much...one class, mostly spent time lounging. One day she decided to go running and came back rather unfazed. She nonchalantly said, "Yeah I just ran three miles." Seriously, you do nothing for 3 months and then all the sudden run 3 miles?

Another friend from Atlanta, (1, 000 ft above sea level), after arriving in Utah (4, 500ft above sea level) told me, "Whew I just ran 5 miles." This person never struck me as athletic, and no way she could have adjusted to the elevation that quickly.

So one day I decided to try and see if I could run any amount of miles like them. And being fairly in shape I figured, piece of cake. Well I got about a block and a half before I was heaving and gasping for air.

I think both of them were lying about their mileage.

Well last night I had to run a mile for Kung Fu training. No big, pshhh only a mile. I haven't tried to run a mile in like 5 years but I've got this. After 1/4 of a mile I broke into my power walk...the walk of Kung Fu Shame. I told the Sifu, "I don't really do endurance training. Well I know a mile isn't endurance training but yeah. I don't run."

And honestly, I am either so far out of shape...

I feel like Gimli when I run long distances.


 

or those people were flat out lying. BTW I rock the 50 yard dash. Definitely a natural sprinter lol.

Sweater

I get really attached to articles of clothing. 

Two years ago I was checking the racks of Plato's Closet in Utah, and I found the sweater that I'd been searching for my whole life. My favorite sleeves. Grey. Size right. Whoever left this sweater behind obviously did not see it's great value or need to be loved and worn.

I wore that sweater everyday until it died.

I tried to sew the gaping holes back together with bright blue thread only to have the holes reopen within minutes of moving around.

Sadly the sweater sat unloved and crumbled at the bottom of a drawer.  I sometimes tried to put it on and roll the sleeves to hide the blown out elbows but it it did not work. I couldn't even wear such a mangled article of clothing to bed...

I even found a replacement sweater at goodwill. (I'm always trying to find backup sweaters.) Grey. Even nicer then the first. But it was not the same.

Today I ironed on patches, putting love back into the sweater and am wearing it for the first time in a long time.

Special Needs Hip Hop, Some More Hip Hop and I do Kung Fu

Monday.
This place I work, asks me to stay late and cover T every week, who I haven't seen since the week before the Emmy's. And before then it was every other week. In an effort to be extremely flexible, and a model employee... I eagerly say yes! Every time, while I sigh on the inside.

This class is...special. And by special, I mean it is a special needs hip hop class. Which every week I am not prepared for, and I have to make it up on the spot. 

If you remember my down syndrome diva story, you'll know that the group has two divas, in which one of them told me she needed to work on her solo. So of course the other had to as well. I'd put in enough time already that day, so much I wanted to flee the building...But there was no redirecting them.

"Ok." I mustered up my last bit of cheeriness. "Well do it really fast."

About 4:29 into the first solo, I began to question that the endless twirling and hair flipping might be all improvised.  Finally it ended with a dramatic split and the next diva handed me her CD.

I have no idea, Van Halen? Jimmi Hendricks? Whoever those guys are that play rock and roll? And at 4:59 I knew that she was making it up as she went along. There were signs. Repeated air guitar moments, when she came and and tried to sit on my lap, movement that really did not go with the song... I thought about fading out the music...But what would the repercussion be if  I did that? I finally asked during some snap, touch your toe, steps.

"Are you making this up as you go along?"

"You know it Baby!" And we clocked out just past 5 min and 30 sec.

Dear Lord. I just wasted 10 minutes I'll never get back.

Tuesday
So after Monday and watching some TED Talks. I decided I wanted to quit all my jobs. I didn't. But seriously, I was wilting on the inside from lack of inspiration and purpose. So I decided to go take my first dance class since... well I won't even tell you. I took hip hop. It was awesome. And I'm pretty sure the only reason I could keep up was because of Kung Fu :)

Tuesday Later
Back to Kung Fu. Wildly swinging fists. High kicks...though I didn't even care about fighting today. So I paired with gentlest, mild-aged lady who comes to Fu to escape her terrible job. Though the Sifu made sure I didn't go to fast and hit her by accident in the face.

Now that I think about it, maybe all of us are at Kung Fu, deep down trying to escape something... dun dun duuunnnnn! Haha. Seriously. The only thing that I look forward to is Kung Fu. Don't know how I made it in life for so long with out it.

Here is a picture from tonight of me sort of refusing to do Horse Stance correctly... that's like the only thing I don't like about Kung Fu lol. 

Horse Stance

Argentinian Tango, Gymnastics, and Kung Fu

ARGENTINIAN TANGO:
This is literally the 7th different introductory paragraph I've written for this post. And I'll just come out and say it. I probably was a bit too eager and enthusiastic in trying to connect with M and T, the Russian couple, from Russia. But now I am committed, in an unofficial barter contract, in which on the receiving end they are teaching me the Argentinian Tango.



 (Video is legit Argentine Tango, at least this is how the Russians do it.)

When the three of us work together, it's almost as if I am speaking Chinese, and they are speaking Russian, (even though we are both speaking English). And when you are standing as close as you do in the Argentinian Tango, that's quite a lot of decibels of Russian flying into your ear. And you have to stand really really close-

(SIDE STORY- This boy I went on dates with in HS tried to teach me ballroom at 6am this one time for an audition at my University, and I didn't know you had to stand so close in the waltz. The whole time I was thinking, "Are you sure your wife is okay with you dancing like this, with me?")

You guys know I always go in for the side hug, (save for those two people ;) Well in the Argentinian tango it's a boob hug embrace all the way. All the same I nodded, yes'ing, most eagerly, promising to practice all my steps. And so it will continue next week.

GYMNASTICS:
For the second Saturday in a row I found my self at the Gymnastics academy, kind of bummed out at the hours of wandering time I had before Kung Fu. I already spent enough time wandering the mall this week in between inconvenient teaching hours. So I decided to resume my Gymnastics training from September.

And after being spotted on some terrible back handsprings, I finally did some good ones. I really should just stay committed to my gymnastics training. It would make me better at Kung Fu, Dance and who isn't impressed by that one person who can do back handspring and back tucks? I'd be a shew in at any audition ;)

KUNG FU
I go public in Kung Fu March 22. And I will make a promise to my blog readers that by March 23, no matter how good or bad the performance is, I will post a video on my blog. (And if it's good, on Facebook lol.)

I spent Saturday fighting A, the Sifu's wife.  She's my height and youngerish, (like late 20's/ early 30's). I wouldn't say that our fighting is effective, no it's not at all. R finally came over to show us how it's done, and in faster than a second I was staring at ceiling. It happened so fast I hit my occipital lobe area lol. You don't want to meet R in a fight. I was standing there and he took me down before I knew what was happening.

My Favorite Martial Arts Story

The was a Karate Master named Mas Oyama, who hailed in the martial arts world known as "God's Hand". He sliced bottle-necks, broke rocks, killed bulls in a single blow, defeated hundrerds of martial arts masters around the world. He was one super human fighter.

He traveled to Hong Kong to meet a legendary Tai Chi master. When he arrived the Master was frail and looked as if he belonged in a nursing home. Oyama thought the Master would never except his challenge to fight, but the Master offered to spar with him. Oyama believed he could defeat the old man easily and quickly.

He was was unprepared for the task at hand.

 The Master was able to neutralize all the Karate attacks Oyama could deliver, using smooth circular, arc-like movement and techniques. On the other hand, when the Master counter-attacked, it was with a force that could not have come from a man his age. It was all Oyama could do to evade him, using linear, sometimes awkward movements. Seeing NO sign of fatigue in the old man, and having exhausted all his techniques, Oyama gave up, admitting that he could not beat the Tai Chi Master.

Oyama stayed with the Tai Chi Master to train and revise his personal Karate style.

There was an old saying in 19th century Chinese martial arts circle, "Tai Chi is the hardest kung fu to master, but once it's understood, it is the master of all kung fu's..." 

http://indomaster.nl/taichi-karate.html
Source that I partially plagiarized from lol