The lack of NEAT in my life is slowly killing my soul.
I pride myself in having eternal patience, but on Friday used every ounce of my will power to not scream and stomp my feet. I was absolutely reeling because everyone suddenly was compliant when the supervisor walked in and started yelling, yet they called me a bitch when I was polite and reasonable.
I almost put in my resignation, but I didn't. The little NEAT I had a few days before let un-jaded Chloe reemerge. I was thrust back into the stress of working my job and had a hard time coping.
One of the proverbial lies patients love to tell is the reason they have to carry around loads of objects because it's their "coping skill," even though it's against the rules. I started to think about what my coping skill would be...My phone. I usually wait until the patients are in bed before retrieving my phone, which sometimes can be 11 or 12 hours disconnected from the world. I decided to carry it around in my pocket. I felt so much better.
I do get 3 hours of NEAT a week teaching dance outside of school and the treatment center. The students are polar opposites of what I deal with normally. I find them agreeable, kind and lovely to work with.
Yesterday was very difficult to prep for teaching though. The lack of NEAT in my life has created a version of myself that I loathe. I have lost all movement efficiency, and motivation. To combat this I feel like running to the nearest Pilates studio begging them to hire me, so I can have free access to their equipment.
On top of all this lack of NEAT, I am in school and want to drop out every day because they make us sit and learn things like Glomerular Filtration. Emphasis on the sitting part.
I am applying to Grad school but don't particularly want to spend the next three years getting an advance degree because of the precious time that will be lost. My only hope is that the time will be recovered because I'll have a good salary with normal hours, and then I'll will finally be able to pursue things I really want to do. (like taking pilates, trying african dance, and walking my dog)
On a side note, I feel like applying to Grad school is a scam. I am not one of those students campaigning for free tuition or an easy path, but it's absolutely ridiculous.
I was happy to pay the 150$ application free, but then mildly upset when I was asked to pay additional 60$ for a supplemental application. It took me over 15+ hours of work to come up with that money. I looked up the salary of admission officers and it's around 38K a year. I would hope they put 210 dollars of their work hours into my application because that seems to be the most reasonable and fair thing to do.
Each school has their own prerequisites. What is frustrating that some schools require dim subjects like Basic Sociology. My job is 100% current social problems and I really don't want to spend a thousand dollars for 3 credits that says I read a two hundred dollar textbook. Persistent Bad Attitude...I am sorry.
Then some schools seem a perfect match but then require a random elective courses in subjects like public speaking, or painting, or Anthropology. Seriously? Let me come show you how articulate I can be, whilst I paint still life, and talk about ancient Mesopotamia.Every school requires a different random course and judging which ones are worth the extra thousands of dollars in "required courses (costs)" is exhausting and disheartening.
But at least we have days at the Happiest Place on Earth to make it all a little better.
