During one of my Medieval Christmas Documentaries I found out in medieval times they celebrated New Year's on March 25th, The Feast of the Annunciation.
I hardly drink soda, especially Dr. Pepper. I once got a horrendous cold in 2018 after drinking a can during a Winter Olympics Party... But 'girl math' says you can drink a whole bottle of soda if you do it in 4 oz increments all day until the bottle is finished off. I salvaged Tudor Christmas after getting pepped up on Dr. Pepper. I made Aubrielle and her boyfriend watch the Cursed Child Wand Dance Choreography video and learn it with me in the living room.
"We don't even have wands." Aubrielle said.
"Standby. I know where they are." I said.
 |
| Wand Dance in the living room. |
It made me really happy. Then, no one would let me post it to Instagram, even though its one of my singular dreams to make a bunch of people learn it, wear robes and put it online. It would be amazing. We would start a new viral trend like the Wednesday Dance. LOL
THE YEAR:
A few years ago I made a vision board and I put time stamps on things because I was trying really hard to manifest. I missed the mark by 2 years, but thankfully I marked off one of the time dated photos. "Fly a Jet to Tampa."
Why Tampa you ask? Well I am absolutely forbidden to talk about the specifics (which included an unmanned rocket) but in December 2020 I was in Tampa and was SO ANGRY, I vowed I would fly a jet into Tampa by the following year. Granted it took two. But we flew over the bay at sunrise and I did it. I flew a jet to Tampa.
 |
| View from the hotel in Tampa. |
The winter months continued and I felt so smug, a little stressed because I found myself homeless on reserve again, but amusingly smug.
On my flight to Fort Lauderdale I was seated next to one of the handsomest men I had ever sat next to in my life. He was heading down for a month of reserve as well. Nick and I spent the whole month of February going the beach, nature walks, fancy resturants and boba. I felt smug because I'd been told I wasn't "wife material" because I would be gone all time. But they paid me my full salary to sit on a beach with a hot guy. And in the end, I only flew 9 hours the whole month. It was delightfully laughable and pleasant.
 |
| A hard day on reserve in Fort Lauderdale. |
Nick left for Las Vegas and I returned to Atlanta.
Returning to Atlanta was the first time when I finally could take some cautious recovery breaths. I felt like I had reached the metaphorical finish line and from here on out everything was just icing on the cake, and a nice little bonus. I did it. It was an exhale of relief, only for the finish line to be suddenly repositioned out of my reach.
I always pictured having a little english cottage, with a decently sized yard backed up against a forest, and moderatley beautiful car (preferably yellow). But even the middle class neighborhood nearby was selling slab houses for 600k and a new build town house from the mid 800's.
 |
| A little cottage like this. |
I asked my realtor friend to send me every house within a 15 mile radius under 250,000 (because I remember a few years ago you could buy a starter house for that price nearby) Every day her automated realty program sent me dilapidated and derelict trailers. The only "house" that came through my inbox was "Good Price Hoarder House Selling As Is!!!"
I drove by that hoarder house and my family said, "you could clear it out and live there." I contemplated if I bought that house I would personally burn it to the ground and have a Native American Shaman come bless the land because it was absolutely horrific.
I didn't risk life and limb (remember the unmanned rocket?) and spend the last 10 years holding up my bootstraps when the soles had literal holes in them, to move to a hoarder house or a ruined trailer.
They don't even build cottages anymore. Just dystopian soviet block apartments and Mega McMansions. I saw a tiktock of a beautiful new build house that sold in Dallas for 1.3 Million and the house was cracking in the foundation and walls. Brand new and falling apart. Does that give you warm fuzzies?
Im not really placing blame on anyone or a political entity. This is what the masses wanted. And I'm happy for in 100-200 years when the population collapses. Birth rates are so low, that young people will able to own whatever beautiful house they desire for pennies because of the surplus of empty houses.
My friend Sam really wanted to buy a house too, and was facing either a ruff neighboorhod or something bumfuck rural to afford anything. So he proposed in a snapchat and asked if I wanted to get married for the tax benefits. Then we could both share the burden of an 8% interest rate and live in a very normal local middle class neighborhood. I said yes if I could decorate it, but at those rates I'd rather live in a tent. Sam decided to move to the top floor of one of those dystopian high rises. He offered to get a bigger unit so we could split the rent but I declined.
 |
| Sam visiting the house haha |
Sam and I had a group chat together and somehow Zach weaseled his way in.
Zach sent me a proposal of his own and escapes me why he did, but it was over snapchat. I did seriously consider it for a moment and said, "Yes, but I have some conditions."
Zach's wedding guest list contained an individual that was a hard boundary "no" for me. Zach's hard boundary was this individual MUST be invited. So we were at a stalemate. Plus, Zach shows me pictures of tall thin women in little short outfits he likes. And I am quite short and curvy and love my long dresses...
Speaking of dresses. I had a major wardrobe update this year. For the first time in my life, I can afford to be who I really am and dress how I am meant to dress. Shopping in the 2000's - 2010's was like a long winded exapserated groan.
I would absolutely beam when I found something that met the bare minimum of what I what I was looking for. Even if it was awful. I remember begging my mom to buy this brown and creamy yellow eclectic polka dot dress, the ugliest article of clothing I had ever seen... but it had short puff sleeves. It was such an awful pattern and material my mom absolutely would not buy it. I lamented why they couldn't make something with puff sleeves in a normal color. The next Sunday at church, I saw one of the older ladies wearing the same brown dress and in the end I was glad didn't buy it.
My fashion woes came to the absolute low when I was fourteen. Much to my family's annoyance, I would find a piece of clothing and wear it until it fell apart or went so out of fashion I would be forced to relenquish wearing it. ( It's a practice I still do - this season its the white Star Wars vest... sorry guys haha)
 |
| The white Star Wars vest of the season. |
The summer I was 14 it was a Khol's Candies black baby doll dress, with cap sleeves, pink trim and a tie in the back. It went to my knees and was really trendy. Even my mom borrowed it a few times. I wore that dress 5/7 days of the week.
I wore it one day at the Especially For Youth Church Camp. During an activity, the youth leaders pulled me aside, drove me back to the dorms, and forced me to change. They deemed my outfit innaproprite. I didn't have the moral fiber to stand up for myself and protest. I was shaking and crying as I put on something else. It was humiliating to return to the group in different clothing and have to explain why. A few other girls had been forced to change throughout the week as well so they were sympathetic.
Those youth leaders were absolutely out of line. I was kid and wasn't buying my own clothes. Jesus would have been happy I was just there. I was in no way trying to be slutty or inappropriate, it was actually the complete opposite. I was obsessed with being perfect and following all the religious rules impeccably. The dress met every requirement of the made up church "dressing" standards. And that dress was my most prized possession.
 |
| I was able to find a picture of the dress hahaha. |
This year on a Seattle layover, I was wandering around a Nordstrom and found the most beautiful dress by a designer called BATSHEVA. This dress was perfect. I had never seen a dress made in real life such as the one I found, and I now own six of her dresses. They all have very high collars and frilled sleeves, long and elegant.
 |
| Batsheva Dress |
I love wearing my long beautiful dresses and skirts to Disneyland too. Honestly I'm not really a Disney adult. A lot of things about Disney bother me. I don't even bother watching the new movies and refuse to wait in lines at the park. And if I could refuse to eat Disney food I would lol. But I like spending time with my cousins and friends on my LAX layovers there.
 |
| Long Dresses at Disney |
One of the best days I had was with my friend Bethany and Zach, who had a LAX layover too. I told him if he came to Disneyland I would buy his ticket. I don't know how we got so lucky but we waited in no lines that day, practically walked on everything. I got to go to the Cantina for the first time. And it was a really magical Disneyland day. We met my aunt and cousins there too, who always ask me if Zach is still single because they like him so much.
 |
| Zach, Bethany and I at Olga's Cantina |
One my most unexpected calls of the year was when Brandon called to express his love and admiration. He proposed that if we were not married by thirty-five WE should get married. I was a little caught off guard to be honest, and thirty-five is so close. But I was flattered none the less. I cautiously re-negotiated that we should do it at forty-five just in case.
 |
| Brandon and I in training. |
I feel really bad all the men's hearts I've had to break a long the way in my life - like feel really bad. I don't know how people just meet someone and BAM! They fall in love and get married. Brandon met a beautiful and charming redhead and she has been so thoughtful and treated him so well. We still have our forty-five deal though - I think haha.
If I had to coin a term for the year it would probably be abundance. I have spent the last 10 years painfully lonely and poor, doing the boomer thing and pulling up my bootstraps, taking the provincial beating from a society who wants slaves and not workers. Every day I wake up so cautiously happy and can't believe that my life so good in this moment. And most days I have overwhelming gratitude.
I used to refuse to drive my friends to the airport and I find myself taking many trips back and forth to the airport to pick up friends. I have had more friends stop by in the last 6 months then I have in the last ten years.
 |
| After one of my many trips to the airport. |
My friend Margaret said she was inspired by my Tudor Christmas tradition and had decided to take things slower and more spread out this year. I begged my mom to do the same, "Please no fodder this year." It was a pretty low key Christmas with my mom sometimes wrapping up a single pair of socks just for laughs.
 |
| Poppy and I Christmas Morning |
I had made solemn promise to myself that I would not let another New Year's Eve birthday go by without doing something special. Every year I hate my birthday because it always feels like the biggest let down.
I committed to going to Key West, or Universal Studios - I had to set the intention to do something extravagantly fun. I was turning thirty-three which is really important - I'm not really super religious anymore but thirty-three is the "Holy Year" and Hobbits come of age at thirty-three. This is it. Probably the most important birthday.
Poppy had been really sick for a few months and no extravagant birthday trip took place. She started deteriorating after Christmas and I spent my birthday weekend wrapped up on the couch with her. We watched 1998 Mulan because thats what I did for my ninth birthday and Disney's Percy Jackson series (and of course Disney had to ruin it with such cinematically dark lighting - it's painful to watch.)
It was agonizing watching Poppy suffer. We made the decision the first week of January to let her go. The vet staff were so kind and compassionate. We stayed with Poppy until she was gone.
I had a few weeks to mentally prepare so it wasn't a shock to my system. Extremely sad none the less since I pretty much lived my life around Poppy. My parents left for out of town and Aubrielle and I scrubbed the house from top to bottom and took SUV loads of fodder to Goodwill. Anything we could do to lighten the house.
So Tudor Christmas did not turn out like I had hoped. But today is the new moon in Capricorn 1/11 so it is also the start of an energetic new year.
