Year In Review 2018

Remember how "terrible" 2016 was and everyone was posting stupid memes like this…

And my 2016 was pretty much a normal year so I made this meme…

I was too sad at the end of 2017 to write anything or make fun of anyone. Though I do recall trying to write something out but scrapped it.

I am ready to review 2018 though so let's get started.

My family was devastated at the loss of Patton, and very much so my mom…If you know her, you know she is a very fancy, refined and classy lady. Think Cora, from Downton Abbey.

There are places I could never picture her going, but she on her own accord ventured to an animal shelter to find a new dog.

My mom taking us to the animal shelter.

Most people spend seven or eight months picking a name for a baby, and we spent like seven or eight seconds picking out a name for our shelter dog. I really wish we had taken a few extra moments since everyone unanimously (except my mom) can't stand her name. Poppy- sounds like potty (makes going potty confusing) and Aubi (the nickname for my sister). When I am in the house yelling for Poppy, Aubi is the one who responds.

I was hoping Poppy would be keen for fetching bow and arrows like Patton, but she is more into sitting in chairs like a human.

I left for California mid-January. I was still really sad - for like a long time. But afternoon trips to Disneyland did make me feel a little better.

I was living with my Aunt and Uncle - which sounds way more Pride and Prejudice than it actually was. We had a running inside joke. I didn't want to be uncouth and impede on their hospitality despite their assurances that I was 'cool' - so I tried to phase every request with…" Now, I want to make sure I'm having good boundaries (cue giggles) but I can I have dinner, go to Disneyland, borrow your car etc...? hahahaha

I was heading off to another 'all by myself'Valentine's day at the library but they invited me to Disneyland with them. And let me tell you, Valentine's day at Disneyland is the best. No crowds, ALL the princes are out and because we are generally fancy people, who don't wait in lines, that day we decided to tour Carthy Circle.

Carthy Circle is in Disneyland California Adventure, but it's just a replica. The original theater was torn down, but our guide hyped up the statue erected in its place in downtown LA.

My cousin Henry had to visit museums for his class so we decided to visit the statue after atteding the holocaust museum in LA (which did leave me a bit traumatized). 

It wasn't worth the hour of traffic we fought.

Carthy Circle theater statue and garbage can lol.

February I read an article about how a lady walked 20,000 steps a day and lost a bunch of weight. I thought I might give it a go and my aunt was on board. There are A LOT of miles in 20,000 steps and we became obsessed with hitting that number or higher every day.

We would get up at 6am and just walk. If we had to pick up groceries - we walked. Want to go to lunch? - walk. Oh, we are free for the next few hours? Let's go for a walk.

I really took it to the extreme and was running and walking in any spare moment I could. I went to Disneyland by myself and would loop around the park until I'd hit 25,000 or 30,000. I got horrible blisters, like quarter sized ones, after walking from Huntington to Newport and back, then some more.

After 2 months I'd only lost 5lbs and was really bored of my playlists so that was a short-lived hyperfocus.

Corona Del Mar is my favorite place of all the places to walk.

My friend was performing in the tour of the King and I. I call her my friend because we had some silly antics in ballet class back in 2010, but I honestly don't think she remembered me lol. But she met me at the stage door none the less and showed me backstage. Super fun.

She was one of the King of Siam's wives lol.

There was also A LOT of flying in there. I would have been more braggy about it, but my instructor was probably pushing 80 and I didn't think he would understand my millennial need to gloat about my adventures every day. So I never took pics.

 

A few years ago I heard about this thing called Dapper Day, and it seriously sounded like the best thing ever. Fanciest clothes you own + Disneyland = perfect day. Despite having an annual Disneyland pass the last 6 years, I avoided going on Sunday's (and Dapper Day because it's only on Sunday's) because I was trying to be righteously perfect and never break the sabbath day. 

I decided I couldn't spend another Sunday indoors dying from lack movement and boredom, in hopes Jesus would spare me from some firery end. I attended my first Dapper Day in April, and my Mint Julep dress was AMAZING!!!!

I don't ever talk about it but I'm crossing my finger's for reincarnation at this point. See there isn't enough time for me to do everything I need to do. I have a list of things I want/need to do, but my pockets are pretty empty and I'll admit sometimes it is easier to watch Netflix than do stuff on my list. But I've always wanted to design costumes and beautiful clothes because I HATE traditional fashion. 

I told my mom this and she got upset saying sewing lessons, would have been a lot cheaper than an instrument rating. But honestly, both were on my list. So with the help of my aunt, (she helped like 5%) I sewed my first costume for Star Wars night at Disneyland.

 

I spent my time in CA sharing a room with my cousin Henry - you gotta do what you gotta do to survive lol and I got to bask in the glow of Fortnite every night before bed (thanks Jett for the spelling).

Once my other cousins returned from college it was quite the party and I got to wake up most mornings with Jackson dangling over the top bunk holding a prequel memes in my face. "Chloe, are you awake? Check out this meme." lol

Prequel memes are life.

At this point, I'd reached the peak of summer and still was kind of bumming around by myself most days. I had some fun times at Disneyland though. And good outfits. Always good outfits.

Honestly, my least favorite Rey (she works like all the shifts lol) but my Phasma shoes were on point.

July was a real turning point because after months and months and months and months of entertaining myself by myself lol, with experimental step counts, tasting all my favorite gelato flavors and basically pining for some new conversation I finally made some new friends.

To read about the specific friends jump here to the previous blog post.

Disneyland Meetup

I have this terrible problem. I only make friends when I'm on my way out. I'll go months without any new conversation and just as I'm about to jet off again, new engaging people waltz into my life. And the cycle repeats itself. 

Back in 2016 I lived with these girls, and my last night of living in the house with them we all played a game. I really hadn't spoken to them at all the whole time of living there and they were really nice. I spent so many nights there feeling completely isolated. Why on earth did I wait until my departure to make friends with them? Clearly, that's one of my flaws.

Summer was beginning to fade and I spent as many free evenings as I could with my new found friends at Disneyland. I even applied to jobs and went to Disney auditions (which I hate auditions and performing) because I was keen on staying and holding onto those friends for dear life. But the allure of regaining some freedom and space back in Atlanta was too great. I had spent every ounce of will money, and perserverance taking my instrument check ride, and I was spent.

Of course, that didn't deter me from a marathon of Disneyland filled celebrations my last week in California.

See? Same Rey, different day lol.

I'm going to let you in on a secret. I'm kind of tired of Disneyland. Everyone thinks I'm like this big Disney fan but I just go there for the friends, Starbucks, and sunshine. If my friends were drinking Starbucks at a regular grass park, I'd rather go there than Disneyland lol. I kind of internally cringe when I see people shell out big bucks for Disney. Honestly, it's a giant internal eye roll in my part.

"ooooooh, you're going to Disney….LAME lol."

So, of course, my parents decided to hit up Disney World (the worst- Disneyland only for me lol)  for fall break for the Halloween party. The Halloween party is cool though… I mean Disney is LIT for Dapper Day, Star Wars Night and Halloween because you can wear cool clothes.

And my costume for Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party was so lit, Disney reached out to me on instagram and asked for my permission to use my photo in Halloween promotions. I didn't see my picture pop up anywhere, but I was just thrilled to be asked because obviously, my costuming skills are superior.

"Gimmie some of those man' catching bengints." Also it takes a very special person to survive Disney in heels. Watch out Dapper Day 2019 ;)

Ok, getting close to the present.

So, I'm back in ATL. Business as usual. 

Growing up I had this weird mentality that I should wait to buy nice things because I didn't have a perfect job, or a perfect life. I believed was no point to surround myself with beautiful things until I could afford to have them at all the same time. 

In 2016 I spent a whole year sleeping on a mattress on the floor with holey sheets because even though I had the money to buy a nice bed, I didn't have enough money to have my own room, or house. I spent the whole year regretting even buying the mattress figuring I could have saved the 100$ and just slept on the floor.  

The infamous mattress on the floor.

During Thanksgiving this year I decided that I deserve nice beautiful things and I spent the entirety of my money (don't worry I recouped it all) on silk bathrobes, framed art, beautiful pillows, decorative mirrors and boutique clothing. I'm not wearing clothes with holes in them, or sleeping on the floor with Walmart pillows, or old pajamas anymore. So that's good and I feel much better with my personal space.

I'll be doing a room unveiling in 2019 so watch out lol ;)

The only downside to returning to ATL was the loss of my flesh and blood Disney friends. I've got like 500 facebook friends, but everyone knows that facebook friends aren't real lol. JK they are, but I don't talk to them. So I started the process again, Tinder, Bumble, only to be met with casual sex offers…

So there is always my Kung fu crowed, but my job schedule is unpredictable and I'm just too mentally exhautsed to be aggressive and fight people lol. And while I love my kung fu friends dearly they are mostly older gentlemen who are married.

In an act of brazen impulsivity- because I thought I was going to die lol (ok that was an exaggeration but like mental anguish from lack of personal social interaction) I signed up for ballroom dance lessons. (Now I know the last time I took a dance classing everyone flipped out. 'cue massive eyeroll. So I won't say where, and I'm sure most people haven't made it this far down anyway…but it was AMAZING. I felt better than I had since leaving CA.

I just wrote beginner on the intake form because I've never had any formal ballroom training. But they were quite surprised at my skill and adeptness.

 "Oh, well I do have a degree in dance, just haven't done any ballroom..." lol

I know I'm going to be their star pupil in 2019.

Over Christmas I asked my cousin, who just finished her first semester of college, what her kiss count was. Just to kind of gauge how I was doing for the year…Well, she kissed 8 people in one semester and I kissed 2 1/2 in an entire year…so I gotta work on that in 2019.

My birthday is today and like every year I'd like to kiss someone at midnight but as my luck will have it I missed the mark again. So in the theme of 2018 I'll end this with a prequel meme. 

Meetup at Disneyland

There is an app called Meetup.

I had no idea what to expect.

As a product of the millennial generation I have no qualms jumping into cars driven by strangers, or meeting dating swipes at restaurants. Like what our parents taught us "Don't talk to strangers," millennial's embrace the opposite. I picked a Disneyland Meetup Group. Figuring the tight security and the ability to disappear into a crowd a benefit if things got hairy.

Awkward level 500.

Imagine that Professor Trelawny, Cho Chang, and a middle aged muggle magician get together for an evening to ride rides at Disneyland. How long would you personally last in joining the group? Yeah I was ready to bail about 10 minutes in. Initially I had my eyes on Cho Chang as a potential friend, because she looked my age, but then found out she was either painfully quiet or didn't speak good English. (Still not sure, never saw her again.)

A muggle magician, Professor Trelawny, and Cho Chang spend the evening together,

I spent most of the evening talking to the muggle magician, who REALLY IS a magician, named Randy...And because I'd already given my number to many older gentlemen at the airport (to study) that week I added him to my social media accounts.

I lasted a solid 3 hours before I gracefully excused myself.

Following the rather disastrous meetup group. I moved onto Bumble, a dating app, which also includes a feature to swipe for a best friend. It's one thing to swipe for dates, but quite odd to swipe for a best friend.

"What qualities does one look for in a best friend?" I thought to myself. Because I don't feel like we get to choose who are friends are generally, they just develop overtime. So I decided to be liberal in my swiping - sparing no race, size, creed or profession... though I didn't swipe yes to any yogi/vegan type people because I don't like yoga or salads.

Yeah, swiping for a best friend is weird and nothing came out of the experience.

So I moved to the "swipe for a date" side of Bumble. And let me tell you... Those young men spared no time or detail of what they would "do" to me. And despite the many offers, I declined and deleted the app.

So I feel like it is a good time to clear up any rumors or misconceptions. A few years ago I cut off all my hair because I was having a really rough time, and Emma Watson had cut off her hair too (she was my favorite actress). I also donned A LOT of black sweats for the purpose of trying to hide how embarrassed I was about gaining weight.  Despite the short haircut and rather odd wardrobe, I have never wavered in my crush on Robert Downey Jr.

Soooooooo good looking.

Just wanted to make sure everyone knew.

When I was a freshman in college, my roommate told me I should force myself to date someone, because I needed to practice being in a relationship even if I didn't like the guy. (Since I never had boyfriend.) I scoped out the apartment complex for a beta male, not too cute, but not too ugly- to try and force myself into a "practice" relationship, only to discover the said roommate making out with him.

So I get that nearly 10 years later at age 27, there are 6th graders with probably more dating experience than me, and for whatever reason, my roommate's advice seems to echo chamber in my thoughts occasionally. I decided it was time to force myself to date someone for practice. So I downloaded many dating apps and went to work.

Dating Apps are the WORST.

If you are NOT a millenial and have never used a dating app and are married - download a dating app just for the laughs. It's horrible and cringey'. And a great spectacle of human bizareness.

I settled on a guy named *Carter (name changed obviously). He was educated, and basic. He passed my stringent photo requirements (no fish pictures, no beer pictures, no bathroom/gym selfies, must include photos with friends of multiple genders, full length body shots, no awkward cropping.) And I really tried hard to force myself to like and date him.

Carter was extremely thoughtful, and kind. I had to work hard to find qualities I didn't like about him. Except that I did NOT "like" him. Carter was the only second person I kissed. And I really did not like kissing him. I felt like I wasn't fair, because you shouldn't compare people. But compared to the first guy, Carter's kissing made me "ick". But I was in the long haul so despite the off putting kissing I continued.

My true friends know that I don't go out of my way. I don't ever make an effort to hang out with people, or do stuff, or generally be sociable. But despite my inner protests I continued to make plans with Carter and go out, because "you gotta force yourself into a relationship with someone for practice."

Poor Carter, I would let him kiss me in public, then he would ask "awwwww want to go to someplace more quiet, or watch a movie?"

I know what that means.

"Nope!"

It got worse and worse. He drove me crazy. Caressing my back in public, caressing his thumb against my thumb, the weird moaning he'd do when we kissed, trying to get me to sing in the car (do people not know that I feel very uncomfortable with singing?)...  cringe level 1000%.

That was a weird 3 weeks.

The final date with Carter, I left straight for Disneyland to meet the muggle magician Randy. After an experience like that you gotta lean on your friends, and Randy was my only one.

Randy the Muggle Magician

I started meeting Randy every Sunday afternoon. He was part of a much larger and more diverse Disneyland meet-up group. It was overwhelming the amount of people, so I just talked to Randy at first. Eventually I met others - but mostly it was an endless supply of older women who followed Randy to the Jolly Holiday for salads, when everyone else went for burgers (I would get the grilled cheese and soup ;) I don't like salads.

The meetup group was an iceberg moving through Disneyland. Comprised of the widowed, divorced, disabled, eternal bachelors and old maids. I hoped someone my age would filter through. And finally they did.

I used Randy for my introductions. It's exhasutinng for me to be extroverted and excited to meet people because I have to swallow my anxiety and true self. I had accepted that I may never have another tangible friendship with a female my age ( I mean I have friends who are girls, but they aren't accessible or available), most of them already have children or husbands, boyfriends, or established friendhsips, or important jobs of their own.

But finally one showed up. A guy my age as well. Both in the same day.

I met Bethany, though I suppose only certain types of people go to meetups. So pairing our both reserved personalities it wasn't friendship at first sight. And I only noticed Quang because he looked a bit lost and I could tell from movement analysis he was millitary.

But we eventually formed a nice trio. We started spending Sunday's away from the group.

I was pretty smitten with Quang, because ever since I watched Mulan, any Asain male with resonable fighting skills is bascially Li Shang. lol

#smitten with Li Shang

Quang was on a pretty short lease from the Army, so it turned into the Chloe and Bethany show. Especially after we took a secret mid-week trip to Disneyland without the group. Oooops sorry Randy haha.

It's pretty much my life's dream to have a Disney best friend. I follow lots of Disney instagrammers and they are always going to Disney with their pals. And just like I call any particular male my age my "_______ boyfriend", and particular female my age is my "_______ best friend."

Accidental Matching.

Bethany even wore a dress to Disney because I wear lots of dresses to disneyland.

We spent a lot of time at Disneyland together. We like the same rides basically and Starbucks, and I haven't seen her eat salad yet so I'd say we are pretty well matched lol (I should probably ask if she likes salad - and I'm pretty sure she doesn't do yoga either haha...)

Disney Best Friend

But for now I am back East. No more Disney Best Friends. No more Randy the muggle magician. Carter sent me a pretty gross snapchat of him eating a cupcake in reverse. Not sure it it was revenge for kinda ghosting him or if he felt I'd enjoy watching that. ( I mean come on, picture yourself eating a cupcake, what would if look like in reverse?...yeah so gross.)

Can't believe I ever kissed him because my freshman roommate from 10 years ago, who I don't ever speak to, (I might add) off handedly suggested I force myself to date someone. Worst advice ever. LOL

Fashion and Me

I do not like fast fashion apparel.

I am extremely picky when it comes to clothes. I prefer black clothing, with high collars, elastic waistbands (absolutely no leggings as pants though), never just a t-shirt (unless there is some adornments on the shoulders or added ruffle), no jeans (the horror- so uncomfortable-and other reasons...) and always pointy toed flats.

This obviously makes shopping difficult. I sometimes daydream about the day I can afford to pay a stylist or seamstress, or better yet, sew my own clothes.

With my reluctance to embrace fast fashion I cling to articles of clothing until they literally die. And I am slightly embarrassed to admit it but, if you ask me on a given day to show you my outfit...

shoes: they will most likely be holy
cardigan: usually hastily patched holes in the armpit and elbows
pants: if I'm wearing my favorite black pants... threadbare, held together with blue thread in the crotch.

I recently went to the mall to get in some steps. I’m trying to take 15-20K steps everyday, and rain prevented me from my usual outdoor strolling. Do to my daily spending of serious dough on flight lessons, I have resisted the temptation to invest in new clothes. (Even though I don't
like fast fashion, I do get sucked in occasionally...)

And the clothes I found...ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I posted about it on
FB and my friend "AS” said I should blog it. So I went back to the mall to find what I wrote about. Victorian Sleeves, Lemons, and Cherries, Loin Cloths, and bits of string....Actual people are sewing these people!!!!

Can we just get back to classic fashion and a few well made pieces?

I call this one "My Season is Coming" Since cherry season is soon. 😂😂😂

The reality is, if you buy this dress, by September it will shift to the bottom
drawer. You will hang onto it for a year and hope cherry print comes back into style soon. (Pssssssst it won't.) Eventually you'll sell it to Plato's closet for 1/10 the price you paid for it. A 13 year old will buy it for 7$ and wear it to their middle school dance in April 2020.


"Give Me Lemons, or Give Me Lemonade"

Dear Internet,

I'm sorry you have to see me in a crop top. I'm pretty sure my grandma has this same print in dishtowels.This shirt reminded me of the Chiquita Banana Woman, yet it features lemons. I feel sorry for the people involved in the production of this garment. It is tacky, uncomfortable and I will undoubtedly donate this shirt to Goodwill by the 4th of July. I thought I would feel sexy but I really only feel lemony.

Sincerely,

Chloe

"Kindergarten Art Project"

I understand the artistic aspect of this shirt, but I could literally go to Walmart buy the same blue pullover, and have a kindergartener glue string to it and save $$$.

"In what century, did which type of peasants wear this shirt?"

Linen. Check. Queen Victoria Style Puffy Sleeves. Check. Extremely
Large Ugly Buttons. Check. Shapeless to hide my muffin top. Check. Black like my soul. Check. Turtle Neck. Check. PERFECTION.

Are you ready to see me in an urban loin cloth?        

Ready 😝

**** No. Dear lord. Just No. Plus Cherries ;)       

"No. Humanity Equals Future."

#triggerwarning 😂 So there was this post going around how people want girl babies more than boy babies now...One couple said they preferred a girl because even if they raise a boy to treat women respectively, there will always be a level of misogyny in that boy. SMH. 

There are more medicated little boys, and boys with behavior problems due to our "systems." We treat our boys like s***, punishing them because they act like boys 🙄😑...Can we stop being so one sided and change the mantra to "Humanity Equal's Future". 

Imagine if a boy wore a sweater that said "Male equals future", he'd be viral. His parents would undoubtedly be given death threats and shamed. (You know I’m right.)

People need to take off their stupid glasses and put on their common sense lenses and raise up both sides.

"I'm Feeling Stripey"        

Ok, full confession. I loooooooooove this shirt. It reminded me of Wreck it Ralph, Greatest Showman, and Pirates. Problem is I have no where to wear this shirt and summer is coming. And it's probably only
going to be in style for another week or so, unfortunately back on the hanger. Maybe I'll see if it ever goes to sale and wear it at
Halloween ;)

"Back to Basics"

ATL is way behind in fashion. We only have basic stores like H&M, Forever 21, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic... So when I saw the store Uniqlo in CA, and it's basic, no frills, long skirt wearing models I was quite excited.

One time I wanted a skirt from the Loft, it went above my knees and my mom said it was too immodest. It wasn't. It made me feel cute and good trying it on :( 

Imagine never being able to find an appropriate skirt as a high schooler, and having to look in the old lady sections. That was me. I really hated everything was so short and tacky. I wish UniQlo had exsisted. With some heels and jewelry, this outfit would be top notch.

3rd time I tried it on.

There is one Zara in the state of GA at Lennox Mall. I never to go Lennox because the traffic is horrific. And it's like a half Zara. Super tiny. So when I'm traveling I like to go and see what they have as fashion atm. Sometimes I hate everything. Sometimes I find pieces I love.

I don't have money to spend 70$ on a dress which will be irrelevant in fashion in a few weeks. But I noticed it on the sales girl wearing it a while ago and went back 2 times to try it on. Once again put it back
on the shelf and in awe of my awesome skills of self control.

I was running back to my car through the rain, when I ran into a very fashionable friend. I'm not even from Orange County, but I literally run into her everywhere. Like creepy amount of times we happen to be
in the same place lol. She was dressed to the nines despite the weather, trying to get tickets to the King and I matinee.

"I'm going to the show tonight! My friend is in it!" I responded. 

She said they couldn't get tickets but they would try for the evening show and maybe we'd run into each other later.

"Doubt it," I thought. "The theater holds like 3,000 people."

I suddenly felt extremely self conscious. Fuzzy hair from the rain, with my black sweats, and moth eaten shirt. As I was walking away to my car my feet were getting wet.

I sat in my car and inspected my shoes. Gaping hole, which would explain the water. My sweats with the stupid unmatched thread, and the shirt with the moth holes. Even my watch, which is my favorite, has a
cracked face. I have a serious fashion problem. I wanted to start crying.

I looked at the dress I brought to wear for the show. Horribly green. I only bought it because it went to my knees. To be paired with a Gray cardigan I bought at Plato's Closet years ago. I have to restitch it every few months because it's falling apart and I discovered a new hole in the armpit. I don’t like crying, especially if the reason is self inflicted. Everything I was wearing was defective. It was my own stupid fault clinging to clothes until they were embarrassing and unwearable.

My mom forced me to buy new clothes recently but they were random and
winter styles.... I hate feeling pressure when I'm shopping too....I'd wear the same thing every day if I could. I basically do to be
honest. This happens when you wear the same thing all the time...

(I wore the same capris every day for 2 weeks (not all day, just to work out) 🤦‍♀️- gravy legs)

Anyways I went back, forked over 75$ and bought the stupid dress.

My Broadway friend and I after the show 😎

I got a backstage tour :) The King and I was better the second time. Just stunning. Thank goodness I bought the dress, because guess who I ran into after the show??? My fashionable friend from earlier :) And I wasn't wearing anything holey or defective so I didn't walk away feeling so terrible 😂

So that’s basically it. When I’m Captain, I’ll find a famous stylist to put together the perfect outfit I can wear everyday I’m not flying ;) I’ll also buy this beautiful 90$ robe from Victoria Secret lol