Anonymous Activist

With the recent Trump Fallout how could I not make a super political post (crying face emoji)...

Also I read like 4 infertility blogs this week so how could I not update my blog...OMG Did you know the government spends 80 million dollars a year on viagra?!

Bahahahahaha- I looked up on the website how many people serve in the military and according to npr.org 2,666,883 people are serving across all branches. It's a pretty funny disproportionate number. (P.S. I also don't believe numbers because I took 2 stats classes, and the internet is a giant game of telephone.)

Now I'm thinking about the huge amounts of my female friends despairing because of infertility and sounds like most of the dudes serving are having the same issues. (I wish there was a crying face emoji for the men.)

Anyways...

They've brained scanned people talking about their political beliefs and the raging emotional and physiological changes people go through when people talk about their personal "convictions".

I get squirmy when when people talk/post about their unwavering beliefs, whether it's Obama, Trump, Jesus, or *swear by it* fitness routines. It's like the car wreck phenomenon, when you want to look away but you can't. Beliefs are fine, but when they are grabbing and shaking you by the shoulders with their eyes...

Listen to me!!!!!! And be persuaded!!!!

I want to stop reading or listening but at the same time I'm gawking because people are so ridiculous sometimes. And I'm like, "Are you chill?"

When I was in the 5th grade the school made an announcement they were going to ban Harry Potter. (Because it was about magic and witchcraft AGHAST!! We were a good moral community with upstanding values.) I went into full physiological extreme emotional distress and did something I'd never done before.

It's magic and witchcraft.

I wrote a letter, penned with my staunch beliefs about literature.

I made a lovely little list- Grimm's Fairy Tales, Midsummer's Night Dream, The Bible, The Hobbit (we literally watched the animated version that year), Narnia (it's about a freaking magical closet and a witch!) the Secret Garden (because that one scene with the bonfire and the spell to bring Lord Craven home.) Anything that hinted at magic or fantastical themes.

From the Secret Garden Movie-happens in the book too...

The letter-changing my handwriting of course (because I was afraid of getting in trouble), saying if they ban Harry Potter, they have to ban most of the library. 

A more courageous friend anonymously handed off the letter and--- rumor was the letter made it to the principal. I was terrified they'd find out it was me and grab their pitch forks. I knew better than to tell people my true*ness back then ;) and now*ish lol....

I was recently on a walk and this memory surfaced and I had a full physiological reaction. Heart rate increased, I got super angry, and I mind wrote a passionate discourse about the only staunch beliefs I have. 

I knew it was the same feeling partaking in politics on facebook. All my conspicuous activist friends (both sides) go through this at least once a month (some of them multiple times a day)- the full blown physiological and emotional distress, I call raging. 

(If you are unsure if you've felt like this, it's similar to when you are playing Rainbow Road on MarioKart. You've fallen off the road 5 times in a row and you are sweating, snarling, and can't understand why the world is against you and the things you love.) 

That's how I felt in the 5th grade.

Jk Rowling saved us from Ray Bradbury!!!!!

The first Ray Bradbury story we read in school was "Dark They Were and Golden Eyed". That story scared me so bad and gave me nightmares. Which is why I will NOT sign up for the Mars Colonization that "science" is planning.

I wish I could remember other Ray Bradbury stories they made us read about the futuristic breakdown of civilized society. I remember having a class discussion about how "they" - science, sociologists, "experts" predicted books would go extinct.

I believed them, I hated reading. Our go to novel all through elementary school was "Mr. Popper's Penguins." #lifechanging #imbeingsarcastic I guess there was Redwall too, but I didn't really connect with books featuring animals...

Because we were all glued to our TV's, books would die out and we would end up like Fahrenheit 451. The modern day equivalent to the Spanish Conquest of the Yucatan. 

"We found a large number of books in these characters and we burned them all, which they regretted to an amazing degree, and which caused them much affliction." Wikipedia cited* ;)

My mom consistently read to us growing up, mostly Laura Ingalls- but I would never read on my own. I wouldn't read anything, except torturing myself through required comprehension reading exercises, because those are great to get kids excited about reading. #not #fail #schoolsucks

Side story* Funny story about how schools are stupid that I want to add ... In school we read a story called, Flower's for Algernon. It was packed in this giant literature text book that was brimming with horribly boring short stories. But I liked Flower's for Algernon  enough and found out it was actually a novel. I don't think they expected any of the students to actually pursue any literature outside of class... but it was great and really scandalous. After rereading the good bits a bunch of times, I threw it in the outside bin so my mom wouldn't know I read such a trashy book that the school had introduced me to bahahahahaha. #stupidschool

BACK TO HP

Harry Potter was awful at first, I couldn't understand the vernacular. My mom put down Little House on the Prairie, and read The Sorcerer's Stone to us. Laura Ingalls died that day and Harry Potter was born.

Book 2, Book 3, Book 4 (it was over 600 pages! I read 600 pages!).

Book 5, Book 6, Book 7...

My best friend and I would go to the park and take turns reading the Goblet of Fire to each other. I wasn't an articulate reader out loud but we practiced for countless hours.  Parents, what would you say if your kids spent time reading with their friends??? Wouldn't that be amazing. 

JK Rowling did that.

My life wasn't changed. It was shaped. But I'll get back to it------------------------------------------------ 

Ok now I'm going to aggressively throttle you with my eyes, and list evidence as to why JK Rowling is the hero of modern day society and sent Ray Bradbury to the chopping block.

-According to a new study, published in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, young people who’ve read the Harry Potter series — and identify with the main character or protagonist — are less likely to be biased or prejudiced against minority groups.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/does-reading-harry-potter-books-reduce-prejudice

I realize people are going to think the article above is propaganda...but it's not. Or my purpose for putting it here is not to propagate. Minority groups can be people with disabilities, people with different income levels, muggles... Harry Potter basically teaches you to be a better human being...

-People are staunch about mindfulness and positive energy and blah blah, makes me uncomfortable when people talk about it aggressively, even though I believe in it. Anyways the article below gives me chills. The good kind that come from Positive Higher Powers.

Juniper was born at 23 weeks old and was not expected to survive the night. Tom, Juniper's dad, that night read to her about a baby who survived the most powerful evil in the world. The positive energy and strength that filled her incubator gave Juniper the fortitude to live and her parents credit Rowling with saving their daughter's life. 

http://www.upworthy.com/jk-rowling-found-out-her-books-helped-save-this-babys-life-her-response-was-magic

I was feeling pretty crummy one day and a video came into my feed. They listed off all these terrible things that had happened to a woman with a big reveal of who it was at the end. Of course I remembered who and I didn't feel so hopeless anymore.

-JK Rowling was a single mother, living on welfare, at the bottom of the bottom and suicidal due to an abusive marriage and writing Harry Potter literally saved her life. There is HOPE... no matter where you are in your life, and you MUST press on. What if you are the one to save the world like Rowling?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7kDmz_JQSQ

And the biggest one of them all. People read. Especially people 
who've read Harry Potter they read more. (Except I have a cousin, who for years mourned the ending of the series. He couldn't find anything to rival Harry Potter and moped continuously. haha)

I didn't have a problem though. There was a literary explosion during the Harry Potter years. I actually get sad in Barnes in Noble because I'll never be able to experience everything in there.

After finishing Harry Potter, I read Twilight. I was hesitant because I was like my cousin. No rivals. But my friends T and R said they were the best, so I read them. 

T and R both vehemently deny ever liking the books. But they're lying.

It used to bother me because my freshmen year roommates would sit around and bash Twilight. They treated Twilight like the Trump of 2009. LOL Twilight got on the banned book list from Deseret Book and I think BYU too lol for being to scandelous... I mean Bella eventually gets married so....

WTH is with all the book banning? Honestly people are so stupid. Literally have entire internet of infinite everything and hurry ban Twilight!!!! bahahahaha 

My sister "A" didn't read until 8th grade. She lived in Ray Bradbury's world of screens and it didn't help when her 1st grade teacher told her she wasn't a good reader. 

Don't worry, she's on track to graduate a year early and currently the front runner for her class as Valedictorian.

This all came to fruition the same time she finished 4,000 pages of Potter in 3 months then immediately picked up Twilight because that's just good flow with the system way to do it. 

JK Rowling did that.

After Twilight, I read Percy Jackson and loved it.

All about that demigod life.

I like it probably a little more than Harry Potter, because even as a kid I knew magic wasn't real and my spells never worked anyways. But how can we be sure the Greek Gods don't live on top The Empire State? huh?

My spells still don't work...

So back to my anonymous note in 5th grade. If all the books had been written I could have added this... Harry Potter is about bravery, loyalty, and sacrifice. Teachers are always trying to get kids to read to more and to be better humans. In Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, it ends with Guy Montag looking forward to a time when books and literature can flourish. We have that because of Rowling.

Broadway, Solo's and Greatest Fear

I went to New York to see Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief.  Thankfully I got the 3rd to last ticket on Thursday night of closing weekend. It was playing at a small theater in the Village, the only downside, I was by myself.

I hung around the stage door a bit because that's what you're supposed to do, but my cell battery was draining fast and I'd be darned if I lost power and got lost/kidnapped. Dr. B, who I was staying with, lent me a black hoodie, so I drew up the hood and got myself back to Brooklyn without making eye contact with anyone haha. 

The next day was a torrential downpour so I set off for the Natural History Museum like everyone else in the city. 

When I was a dance major, Cathy Black the dance history teacher, would always talk about the Pendulum...theory? Styles always swing back. It's the same with fashion except I think fashion moves too fast. Anyways, I really like all the frills that are in right now, even if they don't look to good on me. Apparently, the same frills were in around 1900 amongst Native American women. They had an actual dress hanging in the museum. I went and tried on basically the same dress at HM 2 hours later lol.

Basically the same dress.

I really wanted to see the new musical Anastasia and felt in my heart if I didn't see it my life would be unfulfilled and sad. The cheapest seat was 100$ for partial viewing, but I couldn't wait another 6 months and hope someone else to pay for it, so I shelled out.

For someone who has studied staging, Anastasia was staged and choreographed heavily to the audience's right hand side, which was my partially blocked view. Regardless it was nothing short of spectacular and I almost cried when the Czar and his family were killed.

By the time I got back to Dr. B's apartment I'd nearly walked 12 miles that day and fell asleep almost immediately. When I awoke, I seriously considered taking a class at Alvin Ailey. There aren't any dance classes where I live...actually there are...but...I need to be like Elsa and Let it go, but one time I took a class and bunch of people got angry because it wasn't our home studio. Gah, it makes me swear violently in my mind. I haven't taken a modern class since. I hope they are happy, because it still makes me seethe.

Dr. B was taking yoga, and I loathe yoga. But I'm trying to be a better friend, so I went with her and it was actually lovely and positive. 

NIGHT FLIGHT-

Pilot de la Russe (PDLR) aka: my flight instructor, took me on a night flight. I was a bit disoriented of course. Funny thing was I still could not land the damn plane during the day, but night was a whole different story. I got that baby down every single time. Probably because I couldn't see the runway till I was like 5 feet above it and then let ground effect do it's thing.

Sunset as we flew off into the night.

Due to my spectacular night flying PDLR sent me up with his boss "M" to asses my skills for soloing. PDLR told me to never reveal how much you really know on check rides so I answered all M's questions very carefully. 

When we climbed in and began the checklist, I noticed he'd been sneaky and pulled circuit breakers out and other buttons. I kept asking "Um, do you want this out because I'm gonna fix it?" He was trying to trip me up, but not sneaky enough for me. I didn't fly exactly perfect but he deemed me competent enough to fly solo which honestly did strike a little fear in my heart.

I arrived home to find out my cousin passed away suddenly. He was only 10 years older than me. It was a scramble to figure out a plan to head out west. I was worried PDLR wouldn't let me solo if he found out my cousin died- (with all the mental health issues pilots are extremely careful)... I was adament to get the solo done before we left for California so I didn't tell him, but asked  if I could solo at sunrise before catching a plane to CA.

SOLO #1

Of course I didn't sleep a wink at all Thursday night. We narrowed down our travel party to my mom and me thank goodness... but my flight call time at 6:15, soloing, and catching a standby Delta flight at 10:30, kept me tossing and turning. In my wake sleep delerium, I ran through the pilots "IMSAFE" checklist. I thought about texting PDLR and calling it off.

We are supposed to do a "IMSAFE" checklist before flying. I had Stress and Fatigue which I'm sure PDLR would not let me fly...and "Impulsitivity" the "do it now" mentality.

I went ahead though, flying (in my Hyundai lol) down the freeway at 90 mph, (of course we were running late) and I had a bunch of calculations I had to do before taking off and I wasn't about to fudge the numbers when my life was on line.

I wasn't nervous- like the sickening dread I feel in other aspects of my life. But a little bit of a mess. PDLR seemed annoyed I kept draining the fuel sumps, watching me do it again and again. "Dude, I'm not going up even if there is one speck of anything in there." I kept thinking.

PDLR went up with me at first to do some warm up runs, and I kept doing my usual go around the airport, not making any landings. I could tell he was getting really adgitated, and told me to just get the plane down and taxi back. I admitted to him I was a bit stressed. "You didn't do the IMSAFE Checklist?!" -was his response. Great.

I got us down and taxied back, thinking I'd just wasted my time, his time, and the whole morning. Since I'd be gone a week, and likely to loose my muscle memory, and with the vestibular disturbances caused by traveling, I'd have to do this again. But surprisingly he told me to do some runs on my own.  

I carefully went through each checklist, verbally, even though I was by myself. I taxied to the hold short line, and prayed a really quick out loud prayer "Dear God, I'm so greatful I get to fly, please bless my to stay alive and land the plane so I can go to Disneyland tonight, amen." -was the gist of it lol. #Godknows

"Final is clear" I said to my self, then broadcasted "Newnan Traffic Diamond Four Five Six Mike Alfa Departing Runway One Four Left Close Traffic Solo Student Newnan" And rolled onto the centerline, full throttle ,"Airspeed Alive",  I said, rolled to 44knots, and "Rotating" I announced to myself.

I was aloft. By myself. How many people do this in their lives? Google said 1% of the population are pilots, and even less women. Being up there I'd basically joined the one percent.

I landed with a soft bump, and because I'm a huge nerd said "Now this is pod racing!" to no one but myself. (Remember when Anakin takes the Naboo cruiser to space and blows up the Federation ships?) Ya I basically did the equiviant by landing safely.

Another jog in the pattern and a mumbled "Good Job," from PDLR. I was off to the happiest place on earth, even though I felt a bit guilty...(Disneyland and Funerals don't really go together, but how could I not celebrate the biggest accomplishment in my life-yes the biggest.)

CALIFORNIA

Stepping out of John Wayne Airport, no matter how bad the flight, how sad, or in my case exuding happiness, is the best feeling in the world.

That evening my cousins and I set off for the blue wall, (only true Disneyland fans know about it ;) only to discover it was blocked off. It didn't matter. Lainey snapped polaroids, as I took selfies. Bread, Chocolate, the roller coaster.

It was also Calvin's birthday, he loves Spain, so of course we ate at Catal to celebrate. Lainey said she was paying even though it was 40$ a plate for paella. The different flavors tasted so good.

40$ for chicken and rice lol Paella

I calculated it, factoring in the fact I didn't sleep at all the night before I'd probably been awake  almost a whole 24 hours. It didn't matter, we ran around the park, so much buzzing energy and liveliness. It felt just wonderful.

My cousins are like my squad. I am so happy I've spent so much time at their house. Living out west, I'd go to their house at least twice a month. It didn't matter how early I had to wake up, or how stressed I was, this is what I lived for...late nights at the park for our own jolly holiday.

In much more somberness and respect we spent the next few days with the rest of the family. My cousin Jerimy, who passed away...I didn't know him well. His sister was much closer to my age and a girl and best cousin friend growing up- (on my mom's side, don't worry Katelyn, you win on my dad's). After attending his memorial, I wished I had known him better. He was a really great human being. Person after person sang his praises.

SOLO #2 and #3

PDLR put me on to solo again ridiculously early GA time, which was just obnoxious considering I was now on Cali time. We returned home, and I had another sleepless night for another sunrise flight.

Honestly this has been the worst season in terms of sleeping. I went on this stupid ghost tour, didn't sleep for a month, ended up calling a shaman-who said he would take care of "everything". Which he didn't. I ended up having to do it myself- don't worry guys... the lights have stopped flikering and I have had some much needed good sleep. But soloing, even though I'd done it once, gave me a little pause the second time.

We have to obtain 10 hours solo for the Private Pilot's Certificate. I've walked around my whole life pretty anxious about everything but flying doesn't bother me much. I used to say that my greatest fear was "failure"...(how stupid) But after my year working at Provo Canyon School, and flying, I realize I'm pretty badass and failure isn't even something on my radar anymore.

I was reading Human's of New York (HONY), and one of the people told about their greatest fears...While I was in New York, like every other good millennial, I kept my eye out for Brandon, (The photographer for HONY). I think I'd make and interesting piece, and I decided what I would tell him what my biggest fear was. Dying before I've been properly kissed.

Yup, I just posted that publicly. But who reads down this far anyways? Probably just my friend Anna, -thanks girl ;) ...

Yup, I've done 4 hours of solo time and every time I climb in and close the canopy  that's what I think about. Not many people die during their early solo flights. I'm always within 1.5 miles of the airport. If I were to have engine failure I'm fairly confident I could glide down safely. But what if something happened beyond my skill to recover? I'm not afraid of dying so much, but dying before being kissed? What a terrible fate? I also realize this is super shallow, but now you know.

So to combat this terrible fate, I've been so careful to watch my airspeeds. Nothing below 70 knots on the base leg and between 65 and 70 knots on final. Base and final are the most crucial parts of the flight, and were most people make fatal errors and die. I'd rather come in fast and high, than low and slow - which pilots call "red you're dead".

After two hours following this pattern and making some pretty terrible landings, where I was thinking "brace for impact", I climbed out and told PDLR, "I think I'm coming in too fast."

"Yes, I can tell you are coming in around 70. You're up there to practice. Fix it. How are you going to do a short field landing coming in at 70?" -was what he said verbatim.

I learned a very valuable lesson- Don't taxi and Snap. You might get distracted and forget to set the flaps for takeoff.

The last 2 solo's I've walked away feeling pretty bad. Maybe I should find someone to kiss so I can land better?

So I guess that's it. I want to fly everyday. I've been going on dates and being mindful and crap like Dr. B said but it's not working. Maybe I should just get over my fear and come in on glide slope at 65 knots like I'm supposed too. (insert winking with tongue out emoji-stupid blogger lol)